Colors!

Been doing some thinking, more than usual at least. Choices good or bad. U just gotta live with them. As i look back if i could turn back the clock i would have made better ones i guess. It was just one big mistake.

Life will screw with u time and again. And I wish there was a restart button I could push. Sadly life has none. The first real relationship i went into screwed with my head. Nick was right on every man's heart there is this deep scar tt he covers up. I wish i could go back to being caring and all. But life has it in for those who care. Assholes around will just take advantage and wad does it bring u in the end. Misery. So y put urself through the misery.

I rather embrace the role of being an ass. Can say im getting pretty good at it.

Well, wad kinda woke me up is. This little conversation i had a while back with a good fren.

Fren: But u are not mean by nature. You are a nice guy. Y do u try and make urself out to seem like such an ass.

Me: Yeah but some scars do not heal.

I cant go back to being myself which i was so comfortable being. Or maybe this is me. The new me tt has come to terms with his foolishness in the past and this is how i am moving on. The new me tt has formed after gg thru the ups and downs. Wad's the point of letting others in? Trust, love? At the end of the day people are just selfish. Its every man for himself.

Yes there is someone that i have interest in. But wad's the point really. She's someone i dowanna hurt. So i choose to set them free and let go. I guess tt's wad's best.

Not depressed here alright just doing some soul-searching. Kudos to whoever tt still reads this dead blog though. U pressed on.