ProfileJonathan aka Merman The Handsome 19. I wanna be forever young! 01/01/1990. Loves shopping (duh!) and being with the ones he love! Hates durians!! :( (LOL!)
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Goals1) First million by 302) Financial freedom by 40 3) Building a wonderful home in sum European country ( most prob FRANCE!! :D ) 4) Travelling the world 5) Giving to the community ( Orphanages :D )
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Sunday, April 03, 2011Feeling really jaded.As I began to space out, I started reflecting on life. Especially where my parents are concerned. I was reading my textbook on developmental psychology. And I realized wad failures my parents have been. Yes start the appalled looks and the name-calling. Unfilial and wad not have you. What rubbish pls! What kind of parents try to throw out a child just cause he isn't doing as well as they expect in sch? What kind of parents canes a child just cause he made a few careless mistakes in his school work? What kind of parents direct the path of the child so that they live through the child and causing the child's opinions to fall on deaf ears? I think it is bloody ridiculous. There have been a good many people in this life who have let me down. I have always found the strength to let it go and forgive them. Where my parents and some other bitches are concerned I cant say the same. Parents are supposed to be a team. And there are 4 parenting styles: 1) Authoritative- This is where there is warmth and child's involvement is most welcome. 2) Authoritarian- This is where parents set ridiculous standards for their child, are somewhat anal about how they expect the child to behave 3) Neglectful- This is where parents are not involved to a large extent in the child's life 4) Permissive- This is where parents let the child do as they please but they are involved in their child's life It has been my misfortune that my parents fall under the number 2 category. I am making it a point for neither of them to raise my kids in the future. And in the same way I swear never to be that kind of parents. They often wonder y i never turn to them in time of need. And i have never found the courage to tell them off as much as i feel like doing so. After having been put down, humiliated and cast down for the past 21 years of my life. I have learnt that they are the last bunch of people I can turn to. They always end up thinking that they have done a bloody good job, having sent me to a good university. But child development has never been only about cognitive development. It encompasses the fact that there are other emotional developments involved and also physical development. Hence, we have never seen eye to eye. Having almost been thrown out of my house twice, they have proven how unreliable they are. Children have families to run to in the stormy times. I never did. All that there was in stall was more scolding. They believed that praises would cause big-headedness. Even when I was one of the top in my cohort, all i found was higher expectations. When talking to relatives, they would boast about how they have built my cognitive ability through pure discipline. And in the back of my head, I will be thinking you bunch of failures. It is the most sad thing on Earth that you think you are a success but actually you are a bunch of failures. Forcing your will on children so they will achieve academic success is the wrong way to raise your kids, FOOLS! My mother is a tuition teacher and she often converts our house into a tuition centre. And it boils down to this, how is someone supposed to study with a bunch of primary school kids running around like mad. All the way up to secondary 2, I could never talk to others. Introversion was the story of my life for 14 years cause I lacked confidence and was constantly afraid to speak up. I look back the first 16 years of my life and I wonder how I made it through. But what I am thankful for are a bunch of good friends that God has blessed me with. And also, God directed my paths, always used me for a higher purpose. At the age of 17, He turned my life around. Suddenly I felt competent again. I felt confident. Then finally a breakthrough. And who I am today can be attributed to a God that saves all. I'm always grateful to Him cause he picked me out of the valley. But still, even today, I still cannot stand being around my parents. As often and as much as I try to forgive them for the damage they have caused the past 21 years. I see kids with parents who view them at the same level as them and sometimes I get jealous. Upward social comparison. I grow really weary. I'm human too. To me, all that is here is a place where I have a roof over my head and my monetary needs are taken care of. Other than tt it holds no purpose for me. Life has rarely been kind with a mother that is a control freak. Oh wells. Back to the pain in the ass of 202. |